so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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