is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize