OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
