I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
