escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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