No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
