it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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