She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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