my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Vodka?
Forever.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
