i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
