when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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