Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
