Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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