she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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