My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
