Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
