just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
