You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
