Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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