i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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