shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
