It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize