Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
