It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
