Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
