My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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