Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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