I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
