yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
