YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize