Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
