everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
