She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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