you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
