those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
