This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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