And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
