hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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