That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
