omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
