He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
