Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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