I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
