Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
