In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
