i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
