Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize