You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
