Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
