i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
