elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
