With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
