I bet he comes in French.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
