You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
