i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
