Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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