she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
