that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
