I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
